Fisker, Tesla, Omission.
Brewery and Country of Origin: Omission (Widmer Brothers Brewing Company) of 929 North Russell Street, Portland, Oregon 97227, USA
Date Reviewed: 7-01-13
If you're like us, you hate the fact that your brain typically loves things that are bad for you. Things like casinos, fries, BASE Jumping, cookies, burritos, one night stands, fireworks, Las Vegas... you get the idea. Well as it turns out, Barack Obama has put the elitist, capitalist, dolphin killing, anti social sports car in the same category. But what has the evil sporting auto done to make this world so angry? Well for one thing, because they typically cost a lot of money compared to your run of the mill Honda or Chevy, they're owned almost exclusively by a rich ass in a drop top Porsche, or a spoiled trust fund baby in a light blue BMW. And none of these drivers do themselves or anyone else any favors on the road, only hurting the sports car image even more. Not to mention, these cars are usually hopelessly impractical, catch the eyes of speed traps and cops, and are more coveted by those who steal cars, which raises insurance premiums. Your insurance rate is also heightened by the fact that faster cars are simply more likely to get involved in hugely expensive car accidents. Not a fender bender in front of a Wal-Mart. More like 5 people in the hospital, and $2,000,000 of medical expenses. Sports cars are also owned by many celebrities who, for some reason, choose to destroy them in some way or another. Eddie Griffin famously slammed his Ferrari Enzo into a wall. Lindsay Lohan appears to either have a clinical addition to Porsches, or hates them with a passion considering her relationship with them. While Justin Bieber hasn't actually plunged his Audi R8 into the nearest lake, he did give it a leopard skin, rendering the entire country of Germany utterly useless. And let's not forget James Dean, Steve Prefontaine, Dany Heatley...
And sure, all of these are pretty bad, but by far and away, the sports car is a menace to the world because it uses just as much gas as the also much hated entity known as the SUV. For example, the new 2013 Audi RS5 burns excess fuel just to make noise when changing gears. And when you put your foot down, your ostentatious midlife crisis becomes more of an incinerator than a pin up. And sports cars are only getting more and more powerful, with performance in the driver's seat (pun intended). So while Al Gore and Greenpeace are going on about the fate of baby owls, it seems almost every sports car maker is more concentrated on burning up the oily remnants of decayed dinosaur parts. Almost. As we all know, California is home to what we call, conspicuous progression. Some Californians adopt babies from Africa, while others choose to drive a Toyota Prius, and eat nothing produced in civilization. And as of a few days ago, gay people can once again get married there. All well and good. But until somewhat recently, there wasn't a sports car that people could drive that broadcasted both "I'm successful," and "I'm kind to polar bears" at the same time. Then came along a little company called Tesla Motors, who borrowed a British sports car (a Lotus Elise) and turned it into a battery powered electric sports car. The Tesla Roadster, otherwise known as the expensive plug in car you actually wanted to drive. It was far from perfect, and even after rave reviews which established Tesla as a legitimate car company to contend with other sports car makers, the Tesla Roadster was discontinued last year. Financial troubles hindered Tesla Motors' performance, but recently, the company has finally begun to post profits after a full decade of operation, thanks to their newest model, the Model S: the only car ever to get a 99/100 rating on Consumer Reports. California is home to another electric car manufacturer called Fisker Automotive. Founded by the same man who designed the Aston Martin V8 Vantage, the BMW Z8, and the Artega GT among others, Fisker's only current production model is the appropriately named Karma, which essentially sources all of its materials in responsible and environmentally sound ways... or so we're told to believe. The Karma hasn't been as successful in warming the hearts of investors, car critics, or prospective buyers, being plagued with battery problems, recalls, lawsuits, fires, and the notorious deal Fisker made with the Federal Government. The company recently laid off 75% of their workforce without notice. Still, the Karma is quite interesting, and we'd like to see Fisker succeed.
So now we can finally introduce Omission, a brand of Widmer Brothers which specializes in gluten free beer. Like the Tesla Roadster, Omission takes normal beer ingredients, including malt barley, and processes them into a brew which people who require gluten free diets can enjoy, so you won't get sick if you're sensitive to it... or so they say. This has not yet been confirmed or disproven by anyone we know with a gluten intolerance, but hopefully Omission is right in their assumption. They are changing the way people think about gluten free beer and how brewing without gluten doesn't have to kill the beer experience. The Roadster and the Karma were the same way. Electric cars were originally made out of a necessity to help the environment and reduce our usage of oil. They were a sad excuse for motor powered anything. But now, we don't have to think of them as just hippie approved ways to get from the anti corporation protest to the Phish concert. And thanks to Omission, gluten free beers can be enjoyed by everyone, not just by those forced to deal with it.
Date Sampled: 6-21-13 At: 7 Prescott Place, Allston, Boston, MA 02134, USA
Beer Style: Gluten Free Pale Ale
Alcohol by Volume: 5.80%
Serving Type: 12 oz Bottle, 14 oz Sam Adams Glass
Rating: 3.01